Trailrunner, I see you have asked for your post to be removed so I won't quote it here.
But I do want to say Your post is your truth. Your truth is your reality. Your truth is important - very, very important. In order to live life with integrity and realness and honesty and truth we need to be able to accept and evaluate our own perceptions on their own merits.

I assume that is far from the only time your mother has gaslighted you, far from the only time she has tried to determine your reality for you. I bet that is far from the only time she has manipulated you into not believing what you see, feel, hear, sense and know with your own body and mind.

Can I just say.... No wonder there is Denial. In order to live with a family, your family, you were told to not know your self.

Same same.
Me too.