Please note, there are potential triggers in this post. I'd hate to upset anyone by taking them off guard.

Hey all! I could use some serious support right now and don't know where else to turn. The long- distance love of my life has just been diagnosed as bipolar after he fully CASTRATED himself with a razor while incarcerated. Yup you read that correctly. He's now in the mental health ward on suicide watch. I too am bipolar, having been diagnosed in childhood, but my own symptoms are very well managed and have been for over a decade now. However, obviously in the midst of his breakdown, I feel my own resolve beginning to buckle under the pressure. I'm absolutely going to be there for him 110% in every way possible. However I could use someone to talk to who has gone through something like this. I feel exactly the way my parents must have felt while going through my own suicide attempts and self injury. This is the first time the shoe has been on the other foot, and wow is this an ironic experience.
I feel a tremendous amount of guilt over my love's decision to mutilate himself SO DRASTICALLY. We were talking rather a lot about his crimes when this happened... Apparently this is a trigger for him because they are linked to the systematic and prolonged abuse he suffered at the hands of his mother. He wanted to explore these things with me but was apparently unprepared for the skeletons in the closet. Pardon the creepy metaphor.
I also feel admittedly angry with him for doing something this drastic and irreversible. I mean, I know it's his body and his choice, but in cutting his sexuality out of his life, I feel that he was (consciously or subconsciously) trying to cut me out as well. We'd been arguing that day, due to his jealousy over my acquaintances, as usual. They're not even friends, but mere acquaintances. Every time I speak to a male he basically flips his lid, so we decided (just before the castration) that we should TRY to "just be friends." I don't even know what that means, since we only want to be with each other. But I'll do anything to de- fuse this volatile situation and the endless cycle of jealousy.
He is in a supportive environment now where he's receiving much professional help. And medication. However I'm the only person who's there for him out of love and affection, and I know that's important too. He literally has no loved ones or family besides me, so my support really does matter.
At least I know bipolar. I guess that's a blessing in disguise. I've been telling him to pursue a diagnosis for months now.
I could really use the support of a community while I attempt to support him to the best of my ability. I'm hoping to find that here.
I know this story sounds really extreme and yeah I'm in love with a convict. Please try not to throw stones, if you can help it.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post!!

Loki's Iarnvidia