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LacunaCoiler
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Location: Texas
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Default Aug 01, 2018 at 11:07 AM
 
The wife and I have been together for 12+ years. We do find ourselves in a rut sometimes and there are times that we don't get as much interaction as we should. We both work, but we work in the same office. We do spend A LOT of time together but we also spend a lot of time chilling, watching movies, and playing around on our computers where we don't really talk together. So it's extremely easy to not have a lot of interaction at times. Every now and again one of us will feel lonely and neglected by the other and will complain to the other and that's where we actively have to decide to fix the situation. I personally think communication is key in a relationship, so maybe you should vocalize these feelings to your husband.

The way we try to fix it is by spend more time together. For example, she knows I LOVE playing video games so we found a game that both of us can play TOGETHER. She has never liked playing video games but she is willing to do it to strengthen out marriage. We go out on "date nights" as well. This can include anything from going to get coffee and doughnuts together to a full on meal at a restaurant, doesn't really matter what it is as long as we're together. We also have a rule that when we do these date nights the phones are off or stay in the car so it's just us and not us and our phones. We also started to cook together now that we bought a house that has a big enough kitchen for the two of us to be in. And we have come to an agreement that we have to be intimate at least once a month (her libido isn't nearly as active as mine due to her ad), more is better of course We used to walk the dogs together but then I had a stroke and can't use my right leg very well and I get tired very easily so she's been walking the dogs on her own (which I feel bad about putting all on her but what can I really do?). You both have dogs, so maybe you should take that as an opportunity to walk the dogs together. It's rather hard (at least in my opinion) to walk, watch the dogs, and play on a phone so you're kinda forced to be in the moment with your spouse. Just a suggestion is all.

The point is, yes it is easy to fall into ruts when you've been together for so long. You become accustom to each other and you (as am I) are way past the "honeymoon" stage of our relationships and this is the hard part where you have to actively make time for each other. I dunno if this helped any, but I wanted you to know that it is possible to make it work and that you're not alone in this.

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