KasperBlue, though I don't have words of wisdom atm, I wanted to let you know that I read your entire post, because it matters and so do you. You are NOT a lost cause. You have been heard, and my heart goes out to you. I can relate to what you say about being a ghost --I am often heard but not heard (IRL, people here on PC are MUCH better). Pirilin's very true statement that you are a fighter brings something to mind. I have heard of this thing to try, and that is to write the story of your life with you as the HERO of it. The strong survivor, and that shouldn't be hard, because that's what you are! Please give yourself the credit --you have EARNED it.

Also, I think your breaking it off shows real courage and self-respect. That is a VERY hard situation to live in and that kind of relationship can do a number on one's psyche. It can really beat you down. That might be something to keep in mind as it can contribute a down state of mind about yourself. Being free of that gives you the space to build yourself up.

I hope you keep on availing yourself of the forums, we're here and in this together.