I'm trying so, so, SO hard to be a financially and all-around independent adult. And it's tough. I feel like I still have my training wheels on and I just want to rip em off and go full throttle, and the worst part is I can't. I'm still very much dependent on my parents and grandparents financially and emotionally. I am working very, very hard to be successful financially. I just received a letter from the bank saying they increased my credit limit again (I've just been approved to increase my limit not too long ago) because I never miss a payment and I have a very high credit score for someone my age and for someone my age who has never taken out a loan. But I struggle with spending and I feel overwhelmed because I still need to save a considerable amount of money by the end of the month for my Oregon fund, and that's my biggest priority, making sure I meet that deadline. I have to, there's just no way around it. I have to prove to my parents that I can save, and that I can make it on my own without their help.

I'm also struggling with weight loss. It costs a lot of money to be on the diet I have--maybe compared to some it's just average expense, but to me it's overwhelming. I was on top of the cost for a few months, then stopped because it got too much, now I'm trying again and again, the cost is getting to me. But I feel weight loss and healthy eating is a big priority.

Another part of adulting means time management is crucial, and I've been slacking on self-care. I used to have the time to have all-day spa days, now my time is so limited I can hardly breathe! I feel go-go-go and it's affecting my mental wellness.

I feel like I only scratched the surface of adulthood and it is so overwhelming. Take that and add my bipolar, the loss of my home, a temporary separation from my furbaby, and the upcoming move... I really don't know how to cope anymore. I want to cry but I can't. I want to scream but I'm afraid I won't stop. I've been brave and strong for so long it's unbearable, I'm ready to feel weak and sad and hopeless and to just grieve.