I grew up with a dad who verbally, extensively physically, and inflicted some sexual abuse on me. I'm a Christian and believe the verse that say honor you mother and father. I think that verse is more about living a life that would honor them, but I still had a hard time forgiving him. I kept a relationship going when the kids were born in case he wanted a relationship with them, although I never left him alone with them. He was lukewarm about his relationships then blew up when my oldest daughter didn't ask him to perform her wedding. I cut ties with him then. Even as a Christian I had a very hard time forgiving him. He did come to see our house, which we customed built and is beautiful. He was so controlling that when I decided to marry my husband who came from a family not considered worthy in his eyes my dad told my husband he'd never be able to afford my makeup. When he wanted to come to see the house he was diagnosed with a fatal illness. I agreed to have him over. 1) I was hoping he would take responsibility and ask for forgiveness and 2) I wanted to show him my husband is able to afford much more than my makeup. I didn't get the apology. When he went on hospice I made the decision to go see him not out of love for him but as human decency and I knew I needed to try to forgive him, not for himself but for me. I went. I fed him ice cream. I helped him drink cokes. I just sat and visited. I walked out of his house having found the forgiveness I needed. It was a huge weight off my shoulders. I never got a phone call that told me when he passed away and they scheduled the memorial service for when I was out of the country on vacation. It didn't bother me as much as it would have earlier.

I have recently been betrayed by some people I thought were friends. It is so new that I'm struggling with forgiveness. I even go to church with one of them. I'm praying to help me forgive them. Hopefully, I will get there.

This is a great thread BTW. Thanks for starting it.