Big bear hugs for you Fuzzy. Sad and scared sounds miserable. No lecture here Fuzzy. Just some inner wisdom from someone in your shoes.

Meditation and mindfulness have a place but are not helpful I find, when you sink past a point. I am with you there.

To me it feels like Dr's are unable to give emapathy. I guess they are frustrated when they cannot fix their patient. They seem to freak out and take it out on us and blame us for our own feelings. We can't trust Dr's because they abuse our trust. So they say confidence comes from doing things. It does if you have a positive experience but not from negative and unloving ones. Dr's would not be Dr's with our parents.

He was very competent at misunderstanding everything I said and putting a negative and blaming spin on everything I said.
I love this statement. It is so true. You are not alone here at all.

A therapist gave me advice that I need to give myself the love, I am deprived of. I have to love me and it helps a bit. I hug me and talk kindly to myself until my inner critic turns up to ruin things. Note to self - add Inner critic to the list Fuzzy made of parental units, Dr's and others.

A thick skin - recently I have come to wonder if my thick skin, is part of the problem. Maybe I need to let the hurt and pain in and deal with it because it is real. Rejecting pain appears to bring on more pain. I will try to feel it but I always forget what to do when I need to act. My poor fuzzy brain.

You are worthwhile Fuzzy. No-one can command you better and they all have not worked that out. What you really need is love.