I empathaize with you immensely, Eleny, and wish for you to be well.

Most of what I am about to type is information that I have found in nearly six months of extensive research... I am more than willing to provide links to you if you wish. Please, be aware that I am no expert on anything and have been attempting to elucidate upon my history because I, too, am a victim of emotional, psychological and financial abuse, manipulation, use and more...

Have you done much research on the dynamics of your relationship (e.g. BPD, toxicity, dependency and so on?) I ask because it is quite possible that you are suffering a trauma bond with this person. If that is the case, you are literally biologically addicted to this person as four main chemicals in your brain become trained in releasement due to intermittent reinforcement as in punishment, then no punishment (and seeming love and affection.)

Additionally, according to some people, who work in such fields (e.g. abuse) professionally, in general, victims of abuse stay in the abusive relationship for various explanations, including the trauma bond. Moreover, the person, who is the victim, might be emotionally attached to the other. If that is indeed the case, the person, who is abusive, is the source of a almost a paradoxical consciousness (cognitive dissonance) for the victim because the abusive person serves as both the source of abuse and love for the person, who is the victim. There are other possible factors for staying in your relationship.

The people, who are "tired of it" and/or view you as "stupid," do not understand the dynamics of abusive relationships. Please, be aware that you are no under no obligation to explain anything to them or listen to them. If they are not helping you, they are not helping you. The aforesaid perspective might be difficult to accept, but, please, understand that from what you are describing about your friends, they are lacking in both understanding and empathy.

Unfortunately, there are hurdles with both therapy and the domestic hotline. While there are people, who will be knowledgeable and/or helpful, not everyone will be, including those at a domestic violence hotline and those, who work as counselors, therapists and so forth. If you do plan to seek professional assistance, please, research and/or ask your primary doctor if you have one about finding someone, who works as a therapist and is trained in the areas of which pertain to you, your relationship, abuse and so on.