I understand what you are feeling - I felt the same when I lost my Mom.

The only thing I can say is just take it one little step at a time. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Cry whenever you need to but do try to also think about the good times. Sometimes when I was missing my Mom the most that is what I had to try and focus on because that is what she would have wanted and I am sure that is what your Mom would want for you - she would not want you to be miserable.

The only other thing that I might add is that I think it is important that you let your doctor know what is going on and how you are feeling. Your doctor, hopefully, can also give you some support and safety and comfort.