When do you come to the realization that you have set the bar too high?

I don't think I am capable of holding down a full time job any more. I don't know if I could handle school full time.

I think I need to lower the bar for myself.

Part of this is how I was raised and where I am from. I just want to be successful. And happy. And feel like I'm contributing to this world in some positive way.

I am looking into going to school again for a nursing program. I think it's a good idea I worked in the field and enjoyed it. But is this realistic?idk

I've had this mental disease for about 15 years now. I will be 28 in October. I feel defeated in so many ways.

Its the same story time and time again. I slowly build my life over and over again and then when everything's going good the stress becomes too much, I cave play with meds or do drugs then relapse. The relapse seems to worsen after every episode.

The worst part is I know all my triggers. I realize when I'm manic but at the same time I don't. It seems out of my control most of it. But I feel most of it is in my control.

I don't know. I just can't lower this bar. I'm so hard on myself. I see myself as a complete failure even though I do have a college degree.

For me its either stay on ssdi live at home work part time get by by the bare minimum.

Or try to get off ssdi work full time all that and risk relapse.