Please, do not mention it. I am empathetic and just merely responding to your thread and attempting to be supportive and helpful as how ever I might be.

A many thanks for your empathy. Yeah, I could divulge more about the destruction of me and my life, but you might have already found articles about such stories and elaborations of such statements.

Just to quickly add to your claim about "what they do," the question of whether or not a person is conscious of his/her conscious actions, behavior, decisions and more is one that is still debated, even for those who work as professionals in such fields. Additionally, it is a subjective topic (not that you are not aware of such info.)

I try to judge individually, whether the content is a person, action and so on. In the case of my ex girlfriend and to oversimplify, but, unfortunately, distort some of the following claims as a result, I think that she was indeed aware of how she was as in manipulative, abusive, using, hurting and more, how I was being hurt, manipulated and so forth, depending upon the circumstances.


Again, as you are probably aware, someone might gaslight and not be of a personality disorder or abusive in general on a consistent basis. S/he might gaslight and nothing else, but if someone is gaslighting, it is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. Additionally, in the circumstances of emotionally and psychologically abusive behavior, humor serves as a pretense to degrade and belittle the other. The interaction might seem like humor, but it is disguised as humor to hurt the other and corrode him/her, his/her security (if s/he has any) and more to control and condition him/her.

If I may say the following, based on your second to last paragraph, he seems to have possibly contorted his appearance with you according to how he was interpreting you, your behavior, your interests, how you find others appealing (e.g. qualities) and more. Moreover, he pretended to appear how he interpreted how you are attracted to others and continued doing so as you two continued to familiarize yourselves with one another.

I wish for no person to be abused as you described and wish that I could console you. These topics are indeed complex and complicated. You've indicated that he did not just gaslight you, but that he projected as well. Also, he seems to have shifted the blame and denial of responsibility according to what you wrote.


The questions of whether not such behavior is learned (which it seems to be,) if a person is conscious of his/her conscious behavior (as in being aware,) is merely behaving "on autopilot" (on his/her learned behavior,) the extent of self deception and denial (as in s/he denies the behavior so much that s/he reaches a level that s/he is no longer conscious of it,) and others are still questions that are currently being asked, investigated and constantly edited in responses.