When I was in high school, I was school valedictorian.

In college (Texas A&M University, main campus), I graduated summa cum laude with a B.S. in microbiology and all A's, just 1 B in Physics II. I had higher grades than most pre-med students.

In grad school, I realized I loved the TA part of my job, teaching microbiology lab to undergraduates, but hated the research, and a lot of bad things happened then, I was an accidental gun violence victim, it got my panic disorder out of control, I was hospitalized again, just awful.

I seem to have gone downhill since then.

I've been in the mental health system (on meds and/or in therapy) since I was 19 (except for 6 months before trying for a baby and the 9 months while pregnant, though I may have been on some stuff by the end of the pregnancy.) I'm 40 years old, have no job, we need money, it's rough.

I am married and mom to a 10 year old who is highly intelligent. Though I have to be the strict parent, hubby is the fun one. But there are times my daughter will do or create something or win a prize, and I'll be like, "Wow. That's my kid. She wouldn't exist without me here." She figured out multiplication by herself. She's 10 but reads above a 12th grade level (I guess they can't test beyond 12th grade). And she has some moments where she will create absolutely brilliant art.

So, yes, I've had to accept I'm never going to be a brilliant scientist or a writer (meds zapped my creativity) and that, for now at least, parenting is my job. It's not what I ever set out to be or to become, but life is like that sometimes.