I am 42 years old now. I was emotionally abused as a child. One type of this is why I am posting this here. I need to know what this tactic or method is called.

So for instance as a child if I were to have stolen something from a store and my mother caught me she would say this while crying "Do you know how much this hurts me? Do you know how disappointed in you I am?" In turn I would cry and say "Sorry, mommy I won't do that again."

My parents used this constantly and it really hurt and it really destroyed my self esteem as a child. I thought I was useless and a burden because I had caused so much pain.

In any event, I witnessed my father doing this to my daughter while we visited them on vacation. The key to the storage shed had gone missing and my dad had my daughter in tears by using this tactic.

Now I have talked to my mom and apparently mom and dad had learned this technique in a marriage counseling session. They learned it to better understand each other's feelings. I can't for the life of me think of a reason why they thought that would be a good parenting skill.

I am having a hard time now allowing my children to go stay with their grandparents for fear that every time they misbehave they get this treatment.

What is called? Where can I find a reference to it online. I need to approach my parents about this. I have not up to this point talked with my parents about how they abused me as a child. I have to talk to them now though to spare my children.

Thanks,
Aaron