I'm doing OK, starting to think I am having more & more issues with the eating disorder. Would the ED push me to run 10 miles in the morning when I don't need to lose weight (need to gain, actually) or would bipolar hypomania convince me it's a good idea to run that far? Not sure I know. I'm getting a lean distance runner's figure, and I like it, but that's not for the best because I'm not eating right for it. My legs look great, but the rest of me is heading into the bony/see all your vertebrae area. My weight has been stable and has fluctuated within a 1-4 lb. range for several months now. It's just very low. My husband isn't very bothered by my weight since it's stable, and the exercising lets me take less Klonopin for anxiety and does lift my mood. Plus, I do get some early morning sun from it, but not too much since I burn very easily. So I have a part of me that likes it and doesn't see it as a problem and another part of me telling myself I need to get into doing cognitive behavior therapy. Even if I can't afford a therapist, doing it on my own. That was what worked the best for me, for a lot of people with eating disorders. Though the biggie is you really truly have to WANT to recover, and I am not sure if I am there yet because otherwise, nothing works.

Today I took my daughter out on a few errands, read a little. She was happy; she got to pick up her final prize from the local library summer reading program.