Oh my GOSH. You are NOT a jerk. In fact, I think you're the kindest person I've ever met. No joke. You're also refreshingly honest.

Sometimes I over-commit and then feel claustrophobic. I live in a small rural town and try to be especially considerate of elderly people, but I'm very careful not to encourage dependence because I probably would begin to resent them and would feel intruded upon. I want to come and go as I please without anyone making note of it. If I'm spontaneously generous on Monday doesn't mean I'll feel the same way on Tuesday. What's funny about this is that I myself am becoming elderly so -- whoops -- the joke is on me.

My mom is 97 years old and in a nursing home. I was just visiting her today and noticed how kind and solicitous the staff is towards the residents...ALL of the time. I mean, I don't possess that kind of patience and am in awe of people who do that for a living. Here's the thing: I'm not personally wired to deal with people that way, and I don't feel guilty or apologetic about it. I'm just grateful that I don't have to be sweet all the time (or even most of the time). I really enjoy being alone and feel that solitude is essential to my peace of mind. If someone put a crocheted thing on my door, I would probably pack up and leave. LOL

So...no, you're not a jerk. I promise.