This is such a difficult situation, so much of it is beyond your capacity or ability to know (is it his stuff? will he work through it in a way that benefits your therapy?), but I definitely agree that you will both figure it out.


Do you know for sure what kind of response you wanted to the father's day email? Was it for him to be in therapist mode and use it to explore what was going on for you? Or for him to say something that reassured you of your place in his life/heart? He seems to have taken it that you were seeking more of the later. Maybe you wanted both? In that case, there is almost no right way for him to have responded (which leads to another question...is there a part of you that wants to push things to a breaking point?).


Can you be okay with the way he responds to these close calls, and put your focus on all the things that go right in your therapy? (Sort of We walk in the direction we look approach).

I kept thinking fog of war when I read your first post, then I saw you describe it as hazy, so maybe one way out is to pause, get your bearings, find a safe place to hang out (mentally) and let the fog lift. Sorry to be so unhelpful. It's a tough situation.