Psychopath isn’t a word to use lightly and no one here can tell you if you’re a psychopath or not.

Let me review your admitted actions:

Lying seems to be the most prevalent behavior. You admit that you’re lying to your parents, to people to behave as you wish but it’s telling that you acknowledge your lies and know why you lie.

It’s odd that you write, twice, that you want people to trust you (do you know why?) but you want trust to grow from lies — that’s not the usual method of gaining the trust of others. And you can’t be trusted, or become less socially awkward, if there’s always a quid pro quo approach to relationships with others.

I’m not really trying to criticize or analyze you — I have likely, with my longevity and numerous mental disorders — behaved exactly as you from time to time.

No, you’re not ‘just a bad person.’ Five years ago, I think, I began long-distance therapy for hypergraphia. The doctor was a neurologist and a psychiatrist, teaching at an Ivy League university and practicing neurology at the best hospital in the US. She believes that every mental illness, every behavior, have neurological causes. The phrase ‘it’s all in your head’? She would say all in your brain.

You’re in a public school? Have you seen a shrink or told anyone with some experience about your behavior? Does your school have any mental health resources?

It sucks to be different from the majority and, yeah, that alone can cause you to hate people in general.

You’re delightfully introspective and articulate. If your mom really believes that there might be something wrong with you, maybe you could tell her that you feel like you need someone to talk to in the mental health field?

I have hope for you. Most of us here are pretty screwed up. I am, anyway. I’m definitely not mainstream. Welcome to the club.