Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin
Sorry you are going through this. Do you think it is possible he is afraid of you thinking of gin as to much a father figure and that he may also habe some of the same transference with you?
A few years ago my family tool me out for mothers day to one of T's favorite restaurant. In therapy we were dealing with some pretty intense things. Mother's day is a day I could go without since the death of my mom. Without really thinking about what day it was I bought T gift card to the restaurant along with a thank you card. I had to go by her home/office that day so I just dropped it off where I knew she would find it.
She emailed me that day to say thank you but was wondering what was behind it since it was mothers day. I explained my reasoning and apologized if it made her uncomfortable and that if she preferred to give it back that was fine. She said no she she just want to be sure and thanked me again.
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Thank you. I don't know whether he's afraid of it but he certainly has parental countertransference, he has called it that himself.
Interesting that your T chose to address that via email. I probably wouldn't have liked that, but then it would have been out of character for him. But I most definitely do like the fact your T thanked you! I think that's all I wanted. Just for him to feel touched that I thought of him on father's day, not baffled like he seemed to be, as though we had never even discussed my feelings towards him.
Actually now I think of it, he mentioned his paternal countertransference in the letter he gave me when he went away - maybe I felt that gave me permission to acknowledge that dynamic to the relationship on father's day?