Indeed, I actually do have quite a bit of long distance relationship experience already. It's actually my only experience... Back when I could convince people I was worth trying, heh. I was also very young then. My last relationship was when I was 21 and I'm turning 30 soon. To be fair none of those were all that real and would have never worked, but it still gives me a good idea of what issues may be. Thinking about it that way which I haven't yet, it would maybe make it more difficult to not be able to cuddle with him for real.

I might seem grounded, and to some extent I am, but there are times when I am not and am caught up in the emotions, like last night when I first started typing up the op. I just wanted to hide in his arms and have him tell me he wanted me too at that point and I could not escape that thought. I have a few different thoughts that I use to try to keep myself grounded in the reality of it, but my emotions are very strong and I have a hard time controlling them sometimes. BPD ain't fun. This poor guy has already seen me at my worst though and stayed... I feel so lucky to have him in my life at all. I don't want to compromise that.