Today is my 14th wedding anniversary. I never dreamed I'd ever get married (and stay married so long), much less want a kid one day, but such is life.

I met my husband pm an early onine dating site, I almost deleted his PM, but I kept it. Later, I read over it and thought, "This guy sounds interesting. He doesn't want to take me to a bar, restaurant, or movie but swing dancing. I messaged him back, saying Ok, but I don't know a thing about swing dancing. I didn't hear from him and thought he had lost interest in me. A couple weeks later, he sent me a PM. He had gone to California for Christmas vacation to visit his family, and his parents didn't have internet. I don't even know what made me keep his PM, just meant to be, guess. He came in the marriage knowing i had mental health issues, diagnosed with major depression, not bipolar at that time and ED-NOS (a defunct diagnosis now, but it means eating disorder not otherwise specified. We've had our ups and downs like most couples. bult ultimately, so many times, he doesn't realize it's been him or my daughter stopping me from making a terrible mistake or even just self-harm because I didn't want to have to explain it to him or my daughter.

It was a whirlwind tomanade type thing. Within 2 weeks of meeting him it felt like I'd never not had him in my life. We got engaged around year later and then married about about a year after that. The stress of planning a wedding wa too much for me, so we finally eloped and married in San Bernadino Mountains in California. I wouldn't do it differently even if given the chance.

it's so weird to think that if I had deleted a PM, my life would so different right, and my daughter wouldn't even exist.

I have been so lucky my husband has stuck with me through BP and an eating disorder (I had a very bad relapse of that around 2015), and panic attacks even though he does not have mental health issues or always understand. Even when we argue about it, he listens my side, and I think he tries to imagine what I'm going through even though he can't possibly know. No one knows unless you have walked in those shoes.

Sorry for any typos. I am having the blurry vision problem again.