Hi, Locust, wecome to PsychCentral. I have a 40 year old stepson, happily married, wonderful house and job, with 2 beautiful children and I saw him in your post. I saw myself too; I did graduate, even from college in 1972 but it wasn't until 1991 that I made my first "A" in all my years of schooling (I was 41 in 1991 and I continued in night school after I graduated college, taking courses that "interested" me, didn't even have the pressure of having to do well but I dropped out, didn't go to finals (when getting an A up until finals) and all sorts of other such actions).

First off, if you "blow it" now, it's not all over! You can go back later, you can get scholarships, etc. You are not a failure, school just isn't your thing right now. That's okay. Go get a job and/or do something else for awhile that you want to do. If you don't know what you want to do, go out and try to discover what it could be. I was really helped by a zillion years of therapy. Having to deal with someone not related to me or part of my past, etc. helped me to put myself and "my" world in better perspective. I was working hard to not do what my stepmother wanted me to. The only way I could "identify" myself was by "defying" her, pushing against someone.

My stepson spent the money his parents gave him for college for other things and didn't tell them he'd dropped out of classes :-) He was quite "capable" but he was trying to become like his father (my opinion) and that wasn't his route. He had a rough 10 years but my husband helped him learn how to be responsible for his money (he was bouncing checks and was wanted by the police in three states for unpaid speeding tickets :-) and think about what he wanted to do and why, etc. and eventually he met his wife and her support helped him too. I was helped by meeting my husband, his father, in a similar way 20 years ago.

But pick something, anything, that you want and start after it to see what you can learn about yourself and the world. Maybe find a therapist and get a job to pay those bills (I had to pay for my braces when I was 30, since I was an adult and not a 14 year old kid anymore, and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me so far) but don't worry if you still have to live at home or whatever while you're trying some new things. Eventually you'll start building on your experience and understand yourself better and then, if you're interested, you can start back to school. There's all sorts of good, accredited universities online, you don't even have to attend. I got a second BA (with a 4.0 in my field) from the University of Maryland University College http://www.umuc.edu for example, just this past May and I'm 57 now.

If you're in a will struggle with yourself and parents or school or a job or anything, do whatever you have to to get out of there and learn how you got into the pickle in the first place so you can understand yourself and such pickles to avoid them later. It's all about experience. It sounds to me like you've had plenty of experience with "school" at the moment and are banging your head up against it and only hurting your own head. Give it a rest and try something else and get some therapy so you can learn how to do things so you don't hurt your own head.