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Only those I have told know I am depressed. I have put my mask on every day for more than twenty years. Everyone thinks I am always happy and cheerful. All my job evaluations mention how I make everyone happy, tell jokes, and am so cheerful every day. They have no clue to my inner turmoil. I'm a guy, and guys aren't supposed to show their true emotions---it isn't manly. When I go home, relax, and take my mask off, nearly every day I will cry from the exhaustion for 15 minutes or more.
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"I already said too much. I already shared too much, and I want all my secrets back. I hate getting close to people these days, I always regret sharing too much, caring too much, doing too much, feeling too much."
Suicidal Ideation, Severe GAD, Major Depressive Disorder, Dysthymia, Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, Sexual Dysfunction, CEN, mild OCD
Bupropion 450 mg
Buspirone 60 mg
Trazodone 200 mg
Effexor 225 mg
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