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Originally Posted by Menotshe
Hello everyone, I am new here and struggle with thanatophobia (fear of death). When I stay busy and get out the house it is much easier to manage, but if I stay in the house for too long or am by myself at night I sometimes have attacks where I cry uncontrollably holding my head, wishing I could just leave the world. This has been going on for years now, since I was a little girl and used to cry to my mom. I'm now 24 and married. If I am alone when I have my atracks, I still sometimes run to my mom (call her on the phone). If my husband is home I climb under him crying and he tries to comfort me, but once my attack starts it has to finish, I have to go through it. Then all of a sudden I'm ok. I feel like it's the worst, because death is something unavoidable. It will happen.... That's what I can't deal with.
Has anyone else dealt with this?? How do you cope?
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Oh, Jesus, yes!
Are your attacks “panic attacks,” feeling physical sensations along with feeling that death is imminent? If not, can you describe what you feel in the midst of your attacks?
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SIDEBAR: I have been the most devout Roman Catholic and the most evangelical atheist. I have found terror and solace in both. You did not mention any spiritualism or lack thereof; bully for you.
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I read Becker’s
The Denial of Death in college, I think, and he identifies the horror of death, the inexplicable realization that we will cease to exist. Our conscience develops from birth and, with any luck, continues to evolve as we become even more cogent as we age. We don’t recall the nothingness of growing in a womb and we cannot imagine the nothingness of death.
Becker suggests that, in lieu of going mad, we construct an “immortality project” to give enough meaning to life so to overcome the fear of death. I’ll not go any further than to suggest that you read the book.
Additionally, although
Denial won a ‘70’s era Pulitzer Prize, the book was ‘rediscovered’ in the 1980’s-1990’s by three (?) grad students (doctors?) and they codified Terror Management Theory and presented the theory to the public at large in the popular book
The Worm At The Core (not the complete title). It expands on Becker’s work and presents schemes for living a fearless life while recognizing the inevitability of death. I also recommend this book.
If you could explain your
thoughts during your attacks?
Dying doesn’t bother me but I am scared out of my trousers, still, when considering the complete finality of death.
Let’s talk.