I feel like I am falling again, very rapidly falling. Even my dreams are messed up right now. I am not supposed to see my Therapist until the 31st, but I really don't think it can wait that long. All I can do is sleep sleep and sleep some more. I think the meds I am on are working overboard...I can't seem to cry any more. I feel like I am stuck in the stage before I fall apart...where I am about to start crying for no reason, but the tears won't come and the feelings won't surface, so I can't let anybody else know how I really feel. I wish I could tell all of you what was wrong with me, or how I feel, but the words won't come out right now. I just know that I am not right. It is like that fictitious shoe has already fallen, but it fell so gentlely that I can only feel the weight. I am going to call my therapist now and see if he can get me in before the 31st. I don't think it is an emergancy, so I feel funny calling, but I don't think it can wait either.

<font color="red"> </font> PLEASE SOMEBODY FIND A CURE FOR THIS DAMN DESEASE!!!!!!!!!! <font color="black"> </font>