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If he asked me I would tell him. This is want I would say.
My child parts love you. They fantasies about you being their father or being adopted by you. They fantasies about you taking care of them. Tucking them into bed, reading them a story, making them breakfast, and punishing them in the correct manner if need be.
My teenager parts love you: They fantasies about you teaching them to drive, having heart to heart talks with them when they act out or misbehave or when they are confused about their place in this world.
My adult self loves you: She fantasies about being equal with you. Going out to social events with your wife, coming to your kids parties. This parts does not feel any type of yearning. Just a simple friendship. Realizing you are good people.
My senior self loves you: I fantasies about taking care of you when you are sick, cooking you dinner, doing your laundry.
When all my parts love you this is how I know you have treated the "whole person" in therapy. Not just one part. You see it, you get it and when you do not you research and ask peers to help you help me.
I have not told him I loved him but I would if he asked. I do not feel the need to have to tell him.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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