I wouldn't say I manage my therapist. But I know what behavior makes him angry, and these days I mostly try to avoid making him mad. There was a time when I'd purposefully make him mad, start fights, etc. I'm over that phase now.

I know some people here don't think that therapists should ever get mad at or yell at their clients, but one of my favorite things about my T is that he's a real person. That means he gets mad at me sometimes and yells at me.

Mostly what makes him mad is me refusing to do things he wants me to do--like take charge of the session, point out my own defenses, not use the same defense 100 times. It's a lot like being in school. If you know your teacher will be mad if you refuse to do your math homework so you avoid making them mad by doing your homework, are you managing them? Probably not, right?