I commend you for figuring out that the impressions you had of him early on turned out to be not who he is. You seem to also have figured out that you could not fix this miserable situation. I commend you for getting out of this horrible relationship.

As for the future, you are right to be concerned. The great big lesson here is that it takes time to really know someone. There is no way to know if early impressions represent reality of what's underneath. You spent time and found out the reality of who this guy is. I wish you didn't have to go through the hurt, but I'm glad he showed you who he was.

Here's another thing to consider. Guys like that are selective with women. From the beginning he was sizing you up as someone he could treat badly. He didn't just pick you at random. Give that some thought. You were carefully selected. I say this because you may have personality attributes that make abusive men think you will accept bad treatment.

I'm not saying you're a doormat. And you did have enough self-esteem and strength to end it with him. But he saw something in you he thought he could exploit. Maybe you tend to see the good in people and tend to assume the best about others until they act so ugly you have to revise what you thought of them. From what you've just been through, start to be more skeptical of the facade that you see in the beginning. Also, be a little skeptical about why someone is attracted to you. You don't have to morph into a completely jaded cynic. But never assume that a person you don't know is telling you the truth about anything.