I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling so much. I have been feeling a very similar way recently and I've been looking into things to help me. Relaxing with a nice bath and some good smelling bath salts. There are a lot of good meditation apps out there as well that can get you started on practicing.
I hope things get easier for you!
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Allie
Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder.
I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress.
I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016 
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