I am sorry you are struggling.

Some gyms are inexpensive but offer vide variety of options for group classes, which I find helpful.

People swear by meditation but I can’t relate. Doesn’t do it for me.

Do you have hobbies? I find hobbies to be very stimulating. I don’t mean hobbies as a consumer (liking to listen or watch something) but perhaps hobbies where you make something: draw or cook or build or sing etc

Also perhaps stimulating book club? Something to look forward to but isn’t pricey?

It seems like when you have a boyfriend, you have a tendency to make your whole life about him. I love my husband deerly and we exchange texts throughout a day but no way I’d spend my entire lunch time texting and talking to him.

Are there any coworkers you enjoy talking to? Some of my colleagues like to eat alone at lunch and then walk to recharge (which is fine), and some like me like eating with other people so we can chat and relax (talk about our families and interests) and sometimes blow some steam (complain to each other). Maybe making connections with coworkers would be a good thing for you? Will make your job more interesting?

If you spend your lunch with boyfriend, you don’t connect with others. But you can’t share what bothers you with your boyfriend. So your needs are not met yet you waste half an hour talking to him. What are you talking to him about and why is it urgent?

What does your t advice?