I agree with all of what was written above. Don't feel bad for not crying. Though it is surely sad to see a loved on pass on, it sounds to me that your grandmother had slowly been deteriorating for a while. When that is the case, we slowly prepare ourselves sometimes. If you instead think back at the good times with a smile, that is perfectly acceptable. Even those of us who are devastated at the time of a loved one's loss will hopefully reach the time of acceptance and sweet memories after some time.

I was devastated at the time of my paternal grandfather's death, but that was mostly because he was young and his death was unexpected, and I was only 8 years old and unfamiliar with death. He was also my most beloved grandparent. I remember seeing my dad devastated, and that hurt a lot, too.When my paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather died they had been in nursing homes slowly passing. I don't recall crying, but of course it was sad. My paternal grandmother even passed on my 30th birthday, that's something I'll never forget. I remember all three well and smile whenever I think of them. They were loving people.

My maternal grandmother was abusive to my mother and to my siblings and I. That was a situation where there was no love involved, although I know my mother did have some love for her, despite. The only sad part was that she lived the longest of all of my grandparents, even seeing my sweet mother die. My mother's death was one of the most devastating events of my life. I was only 33 at the time, my mother only 61. It was very unexpected.