Quote:
Originally Posted by *Laurie*
I enjoy being on this forum and on some other online sites. To me, the friends I make online are entirely real people and I care about them. I've had some online friendships that go back 13 years.
That said, I fairly often find myself getting upset about some problems that come up online, usually having to do with me feeling misunderstood or posted to in a not very considerate way (that happened on Facebook this morning; my friend probably didn't intend to be abrupt, but I took it that way and it's haunted me all morning).
Today it occurred to me that maybe I'm investing too much emotionally online. Outside of my family, I don't really have a social life. I facilitate a NAMI support group, a wonderful group of people, but that's not just a "fun social thing".
I'm not really asking for advice for myself. What I'm wondering is if others of you also use the internet for your primary social contacts, and if you do, how is it working for you? Are you okay with having mostly online friends or would you like to have more IRL friends?
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I think this is a good topic. Friendships are difficult for me and sometimes I wonder why I try so hard.
I used to be more involved with online friendships and decided I need IRL friendships. So I spent three years making an honest effort to develop healthy IRL friendships. I tried to be a good friend to others. I formed some social groups. I planned events. I bought people birthday cards and gifts. I made time for people. I did not develop one good friend out of all that effort. People were really nice and they were great about participating in the events I organized. Nobody ever reciprocated and invited me to anything though. When I had surgery and was home for several months, people did not check on me.
I stopped putting time and effort into IRL friendships to that degree. Even now when I make an effort, most people keep a distance and don’t invite me to things. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I did finally make a few nice friends in a volunteer group. Those are the only friends who have reciprocated my efforts at friendship.
Long story short, I value internet friendships as much as IRL friendships.