After almost 20 years in the cooking industry, and my doctor telling me to get out or I wouldn't make it past 40, I plan on going back to school in January to take an accounting course, since I have always been good in math. My goal is to have my own bake shop business and the accounting will help. Failing that, I just want a Monday to Friday, 9-5 office job somewhere. I can't do shift work anymore, and I can't stay on my feet for 8-12 hours a day, getting yelled at by sadistic chefs and managers, nor do I want to work weekends anymore.

I'll be 39 when I start school, and 40 when I finish. My question is, how hard is it going to be for me to find meaningful employment being fresh out of school at that age? Unfortunately, ageism is a real thing, and I have seen and experienced it. People do not want to train older people like me. The last job I had, a housekeeping job at a hospital, they tried to fire me after one training shift because I couldn't keep up with the abrupt trainer.

I also am not sure if I'm making the right decision. I went to Chef School and we know how that turned out. I pretty much hated every job I had, and I don't want to make the same mistake again.

Companies want people who "fit in." The issue is I don't "fit in" anywhere. I have always been a bit of a loner, and outsider. I always feel out of place, like I don't belong.

Anyways, whatever the decision, I hope it's the right one. Since I have only made bad decisions, and I'm almost on the wrong side of 40, I have to get this perfect since I'm running out of time.