I am so sorry. Those things are tough You my feel the grief at a later time, or if she's been on hospice awhile, you might have been grieving throughout that process. I grieved for my grandmother while she was on hospice long before her death. Little things and not the big phone call make me grieve for my mother-in-law, who just passed in December. Sometimes the big moments are the times we are prepared for and numb inside. I had a grandfather die from Alzheimers, and when you lose a loved one that way, it's like you've grieved them long before death.