I should clarify that I don't always walk in alignment. I'm still a student of the universe. I can forget my source sometimes and struggle for periods of inbalance. Have many times doubted my version of God. Conflicted many times about the many versions opened up to me once I'd considered the possibility of a God.... of a spiritual consciousness. I'd been raised without religion so I was a clean slate.

For several years I emersed myself in mainstream Christianity and for some years after that explored other spiritual teachings.... observed who God -- the Source of Life is for people from different cultures and life experiences... and for me.... what was God to me... and me to God.

From my own experiences God has become a constant for me in that as a spiritual being God is the Great Spirit to whom I have a spiritual connection. My source of life energy.... physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

When I get caught up in things on the physcial level I can loose balance and seperate from the mindfullness of my spirit. I will feel the aloneness in conditions I can't control. I see, think about, and react to life around me stuggling off-balance to know my place or to feel worthy of my space. I can react without listening and get lost in displaced emotions. I can be blinded and panicked with fear and my thoughts can cycle into ideas and reactions totally dis-associated from my spiritual understandings.

I ended up as sick as I did because I was living disconnected and totally off-balance for a time. I stayed sick because I wasn't seeing beyond what I could control to get better. It wasn't until I aligned myself again to my spiritual understandings that I began to make better choices for my life. When my rituals became heart-felt and heart-lead again... from the spirit within me... then I got stronger and the re-connect began the healing process again.

While at my worst times of struggle... when I feel alone with what might be fantasy.... I remember to think only of God as Love. No more. No less. Perfect Love. A love I am connected to because I crave it at my core. It seems planted at my core. No more. No less. It brings me back to mindfully practice walking in love.

I may loose a step, mess up my footing... get caught in moments of time.... get taken down by symptoms of my inbalance.... but thoughts of Love's intentions seem to give me the will to re-align my focus and be lead once again by my spirit.

Each and every day....