Dear T,
You are fine with my request regarding next week. If you weren't, you would have told me. You said in today's session that I could pick either option, and whatever I picked wasn't set in stone. I'm being more convenient for making the change now rather than waiting until the last minute. Your briefness in response is because you're replying from your phone, which I can tell because there's that line about "excuse any brevity and errors" that isn't in your regular signature. I am telling myself all of this. This is not even about you at all, this is about ex-MC and all the other people throughout my life who weren't honest with me. And about me feeling like I don't deserve what I want or need. That's what this is all about.

And maybe also partly feeling connected to you the past couple sessions, which has triggered all the fear. Plus the ex-MC stuff, where he's willing to be there for me if needed, if all the other avenues, including you, aren't available, but, as we discussed in session today, he should only be the nuclear option because of, well, I guess the potential fallout. So...be there, OK? Be there if I need you. Don't make me rely on him. I know you won't answer the phone at 2 a.m.--I get that. But otherwise, please just be there if I need you as much as you're able to while sticking to your boundaries. Because I also need you to be not burned out or overextended like ex-MC was.

I'm so rambling now. I should probably print all this and bring it Thursday. There's still stuff I didn't tell you about from last week, that I'm scared to talk about, so I'll bring that too. That stuff is the reason I asked for what I did next week.

Love,
LT