amicus_curiae

I am Christian, always have been. I believe in heaven or hell after death (which doesn't always help the situation lol), not reincarnation or nothing for that. When I have my attacks I think about how I have such a big family and with such a big family someone is bound to go soon, and what if their doomed to hell.. I can't bare that, but God said he won't put more on you than you can bare, so if I can't bare it then I'll be the first in the family to die and I'm nor ready, Im afraid to just END. What if I go to hell? My family will be so crushed, my son will be without me, my body will lay cold and stiff somewhere. After I'm done thinking about all this, all I can say over and over again is "I just want to die today." I don't want to be in this world anymore." I just want to die."