Quite right, he's not a solution to all of my problems... But could be to one: chronic loneliness. And, well, he has been for about 3 months now.

Anyhoo, I'm trying my best to avoid that train of thought. Last night while somewhat level-headed I managed to write out a few key thoughts, including an apology for being so cold and mean. I'm still relatively calm right now. I hope he can forgive the mess I am yet again. Part of me hopes he doesn't, for his sake.