Feeling very distracted today, spacey, kind of flat, sad, but then at times kind of happy. I think mostly just discontinuation symptoms right now, and hope they don't last long. I definitely still have self destructive thoughts and feel pretty exhausted with these moods, but feel as though my healthy inner voice is a little stronger. Made myself lie in bed until I fell asleep around midnight last night. Had a restless sleep full of some vivid dreams, but at least I slept. I am realizing that I have been in mixed episodes for so long at this point, I think, that it is going to take awhile to heal myself and it is not going to be an overnight thing. Just going to stick with my plan of self care as best as possible, and hope I find a way out somehow at some point. Also working on meditation and mindfulness techniques.