I just ended two toxic relationships myself.

One was a friend of 40 years, who I defriended several times over the years when she grossly crossed the line of my boundaries. She got back in touch with me and we agreed to have an understanding of how to remain friends by her agreeing to back off and me agreeing to not let myself get sucked in. However, she just couldn’t abide. Then I learned from a mutual friend that she not only gossiped my most personal truth to our mutual friends (this I knew and tolerated) but she was spreading viscous lies. This made me 100% sure she was just an evil, toxic frenemy. It was shocking. It’s hard to believe as I can’t understand why she would do that and pretend to be my bff. I’m so glad she is out of my life.

The other was my husband of 25 years (15 of them miserable). His behavior wasn’t toxic and “abusive”, but he gaslighted and neglected my words regarding my needs, mainly with a sexual control struggle, which pushed me to serious depression. I don’t know he’d be diagnosed with anything, but it was all very dysfunctional.

I’m moving forward. We are getting divorced. I’m doing very well with no signs of the depression and unhealthy coping mechanisms I had developed during our struggle.

When you come out of these toxic relationships there is a strange feeling of no closure, no resolution. The other person will most likely be playing the victim to anyone who will listen. But you know in your heart what happened and you are doing what you need to do to go on and be healthy. That’s what matters most— taking care of yourself.

For a long time I lingered miserably in the cage. But when I saw the only way was out, I seized that opportunity and left.

You’ll never hear one person say they regretted leaving abuse.