To my old T--I love you so much and I miss you so much and I wish you hadn't gotten sick and had to stop being my T. I know once I pick a T to work with that I won't be able to talk to you anymore. How am I going to be able to do that? I miss your voice. I miss sitting across from you. I miss everything about you.

To the new T that I saw yesterday for the first time--I think you're nice. I like the chairs in your office. I like how you said you would like to work with me and asked me to think about it. I think you might be the person to work with next. But that brings up all sorts of fears. I don't want to get attached to you. I don't want to feel this sort of pain over you. I want you to help me. I don't know if I can trust you.