Oh my goodness, yes. Those kinds of things can definitely leave their marks on the child and therefore the adult as well, yes. But well done for moving forward and pursuing your goals. That's great.

One thing I would suggest is therapy or counseling. Just talking through your thoughts/feelings with a trained professional, and receiving advise and suggestions from them has helped a lot of people. So, that's one thing you could consider.

Welcome to PC as well, Clarinets21. You'll get through this eventually, you'll see.