((TheSadGirl2)),

When a person has been in an institution for a long time that person actually learns to live their life based on that institution even if the person is not really treated well. What happens is that once a person is somehow finally released and freed from that institution, the person will actually want to go back even though they were mistreated simply because the person doesn't know HOW to live any other way.

That is what you have been doing where you end up in abusive relationships because you simply have not learned to function and live any other way. It became your normal and that is simply because it's how you learned to live your life. You have also been encouraged to feel that your value depends on what others tell you or how they treat you too. This is difficult to overcome for anyone. The important thing to learn about abusers is that they get so they learn how to behave in order to gain control and they also learn what kind of people they can manipulate and control. They like to create "dependence" because that's what keeps them in "control". They already know that without dependents they have "nothing" which is why they tend to create "fear" where if you leave them you will "suffer". These individuals don't really "care" either instead their goal is "power and control". That is why so many of these type of individuals end up in power positions like teachers, doctors, therapists, politicians, CEO's, religious leaders, lawyers, managers and high performing salesmen or even actors etc. That's because many of these positions can provide these individuals with some kind of narcissistic feed, as that is what sustains them. These individuals don't really "care" about you, they only care about you obeying and servicing their needs.