Quote:
Originally Posted by Balthascar810
I found out that Fred had been enforcing the fact that I was only working part time to everyone at work.
It's ok moon shaped face . It only struck a nerve because my ex coach used to wind me up that my contract was 28 hours. 36 was full time. But there was ALWAYS over time. This was how retail worked. I got every second Sunday so that made it full time . And when people were on holiday which was most weeks in a large company.
I never told my sports club my contract hours. He literally
Called me part-timer. So when you asked are you still working part-time at the Eec I took it the wrong way. Sorry.
But It gave that push and I got a second job and I also did evening classes at college. It was ME that latched onto "part-time".
My father also said I lazy. It wasn't just the hours with my father, it was the type of employment also. The easy way out. It was supposed to be my gap year so I could figure out what I wanted to pursue. I tried to ignore the negative people.
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My English teacher said I was university material. And I remember I used to love writing stories in P2. It was effortless for me. Seven A4 pages for a seven year old in an hour and half at the most, was promising.
Like everything else in my life it was short lived and over before it even started.
A nurse said to me : not everyone is against you, you know. When the people who are supposed to guide you, nurture you and help you, simply fail. Then survival instincts, step in and you find a new way to cope with the pain. Or shut it out and dull your emotions. If you don't let it through you can't feel it's full intensity.
I feared my elders, where I should have trusted and respected them.
I was humiliated in front of the whole class. I could keep my home life as hushed as I could. But not this. This was something that I'm sure others will remember too.
My friend said to me you never get excited. But If something happened once, and I got grief for it, I set up my defences, instantly. Like Kafka' s castle. Nobody would penetrate my castle. They could try.