Of course, I can't tell you what's going on with you. But I will tell you that 22 months ago my precious sister died from a long, long fight with cancer. Shortly after she died I began to be obsessed with being almost sure I had cancer. I felt guilty and stupid. The last thing I wanted to do was to focus on her the illness that killed her. But there it was. I was stuck on the idea, despite no reason to be. EVERY little pain, anything the tiniest bit unusual in my body - there came the horrible anxiety.

So. What I'm trying to point out is that, as I understand it, thinking we have the same or similar illness that a loved one recently died from is common.

That said, 2ISAB is absolutely correct: You are drinking too much. I believe that you know it, too.