(((((((((((((mindsofmany))))))))))
I've been where you are and it hurts so much! I'm so sorry you are struggling with it right now. I'm so glad you have a T who is available to you. My T is like that as well. It helps to have someone like that in your life.

When I can, I try to keep in my mind that these times do pass if we can just hang on. Also remember, your parts were formed to survive so underneath all the stuff, you do want to survive.

Try to self talk when you're aware enough to. Flashbacks are so horrible but if you can, keep telling yourself that you have already lived through the experience and it's not happening now.

What I have been trying to do lately is self talk about how I know some thoughts are all about suicide right now, but that's because there were so many times that that option was my only one due to my circumstances. Now, I have a T who cares about me and wants me to succeed and thrive. You do too. Concentrate on that as you can. I keep thinking if I self talk, maybe other parts will hear eventually.

If you end up in hospital, try to remember that it's to help, not hurt.

Wow, these are mostly T words lol. Maybe I listen even when I don't.

Hang in there and PM me if you need to.