Miss Charlotte I feel your pain with this. I agree with Sunny too on firming up the frame for you with T.

I do think sometimes it is hard for our T's whether we realize it or not. They are human, I am trying to remember this when my T seems inconsistent.

I want a genuine relationship and in order for him to provide that, I need to accept that he too will make mistakes.

Think of the inconsistency in your T as his caring for you. He isn't rejecting you now, he is just realizing that he relaxed boundaries too much and it is hurting you.

As for whether this is one of the items in his toolbox, sadly, we'll never know the answers to questions such as these.

Try and give him the benefit of the doubt if you can.

Hugs!