Quote:
Originally Posted by luvyrself
Pursue your interests and you will meet people who like the same things-groups, volunteer work, hobbies. These can be something that sustains you between relationships as well"
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You know what's weird is in many groups I've been in, there's usually one or two people I feel comfortable around (if even that) and after they leave, I don't fit in or feel comfortable in the group anymore and have to leave.
What's even weirder is that I'm a musician and other than my former partner, I have not found a musician in the area that I feel comfortable around or feel like I have enough in common with to even be friends.
Working at a high school was one of the only times I remotely fit in and I don't think I had much in common with most of the people there so I never really understood how one approaches people with common interests. Hobbies have always been a bust for me in the past as well. I would LOVE to have musician friends...
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
A lot of people are bisexual and it’s not that uncommon. My daughter is bisexual and she always informs people up front. She is yet to meet a man or a woman who objected to it. Saying that, it’s very personal choice and you might meet people who’d object (I personally wouldn’t date bisexual man so it’s just a choice for me). So you just have to take a risk.
As about not having money because you are in school it’s ok too.
I recommend that in your first message you ask for details on
Something they said and offer your details. If they say they like to read, ask in your message what kind of books they like and mentioned that you like XYZ writer and ask if they’ve read his book etc etc
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I did tell my former partner upfront about my sexuality but I'm not sure I will again. If I were to find anyone online, I'm sure they would know. I might have to avoid women though because my lack of experience at all with women would be a red flag.
Is it okay really for someone my age to even be in school, let alone not have money because I am rather than have the lucrative career I'm supposed to have at my age? I'm only going back because I was supposed to teach in higher education and spent most of my 20s getting a doctorate just to find out how toxic the environment it was and how I really would never be good or smart enough to teach at a college. The specialty I needed to actually be competitive for jobs was suddenly unavailable as soon as I started my doctorate. My life has just been a pile of stupid decisions and a waste and I honestly feel pretty ashamed of my education. Even though I'm starting to have high school students address me as "Dr.", it still feels wrong. I'm not sure I would want who I was dating to know.
But your suggestion for the first message is helpful. Now I just have to get the nerve.
ETA:
I'm not sure I will be open and readily share details about my feelings and about who I am as a person again because that's what destroyed my first relationship. Of course, if asked directly I won't lie, but overt honesty/openness seems to be a relationship killer.