ive been self harming for the past 3-4 years, ive tried to fully stop but i cant. nobody knows because its all on my upper thigh where its easy to hide. i was clean for almost half a year but due to some recent things i broke down almost a week ago. i both feel so gross and like its something beautiful. like i enjoy having all the scars. i feel so weird about it and i refuse to address it irl, even with my case worker ( shes judgmental and has said " you arent one of those "cutters" are you?" giving me a disgusted look) ive tried coping other ways but it always seems so short term.