Yes, you did help me thank you so much. Now, I understand to this degree. But you know what gets to me is that he never had the decseny to apolgoize for anything. And sometimes I think that what his intentions were towards me and that's one thing I will never find out.

Every holiday or event passes by I seem not to enjoy them anymore. Why, because he never made it special. I get emotional during those times.

And you know all I tried to do was the right thing into talking about the problems and the issue's and trying to explain things to him that what ever he's saying or doing better stop because on my part it would had become alot worser and he would go off being worser on his side too. And the issue's have been left out on the open and nothing is solved. And it wil always been open. And I've always imagined when I did end things with him that we talked about our issues and problems so when we both left we would leave without any reastmeant towards each other and now i cant stand him anymore. And you have no idea on how hard it was on me to go full No Contact. And the hard part is that trying to get people to beleive me anymore. Not even my own husband would beleive me. So what did I do i gave my self closure. And let things out in the open and maybe one day things will resolve itself. But I dont want it to come to terms where i have to face it in reality one day I know i'm not going to take it good at all. Thanks for listening.





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camilionwords1truth said:
sally-i

Even though there was no hitting each other--there is also emotional and phychological abuse. I have been there and it is not fun. When we yell out or lash out hurtful words in any way, it is abuse. No one deserves abuse, not even your ex. I understand how it can be so frustrating when someone is yelling in your face and calling you every name in the book and then some--how bad it can really hurt your heart. Once words have been spoken, they cannot be taken back, and are very hard to convince someone you did not mean to say them.

Anger can get the best of anyone and if we are not careful, it can be very abusive. Violence is always an indicator of abuse. No one has the right to be violent towards you. I know hun, it must have been hard to let things go not talking things out--but once his anger started showing that was an indication to just let go for your safety.

I also wanted to say that WMD was just trying to point out that a lot of times in a relationship--in the beginning a guy will go out of his way to be nice and after a while when there is no response in noticing the little things they may do, they take it as we do not care. Not saying you per say, but in general.

sally-i, I do not know if I have helped you or not. But I can tell you from experience that yes, emotional and phychological abuse are some of the most lasting kind. Physical abuse is terrible but the marks to the outside world go away--the marks left inside that no one sees are much harder to deal with and heal.

I hope you know that you are welcome to pm me if you would like. Thank you for taking the brave step you took to share this with us. We are here to support and help each other through. You took the first step.

cami

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