Plan for the future now while you have the support. Some people need structure — at least a basic outline for most things in life. They aren't good at rolling with the punches, so to speak; having to make decisions without proper time and planning can be very anxiety-provoking. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. You're definitely not alone. I'm frequently that way too.

I can definitely empathize and relate to you about having something or doing something that over time becomes such a huge part of your life, both in a literal sense — like a career you spend 40+ hours a week, 52 weeks a year for many years or a parent where you're really never not working —as well as in the sense of it occupying such a significant part of how you identify and see yourself as a person.

While I still have another three or four decades in the field I work in, I can't imagine after that. And I don't know if I ever will. Because work has always been such a huge part of my life for better or worse. But once I've worked as long as you have, I'll be at the same crossroads. I don't know what I'll do, what it'll look like, probably the same as you right now, but I'm pretty confident it'll all work out.